鮑里斯
探訪證
黑衣人3
基督教歌曲《奇異恩典》
悼念Z 19XX-2012
(鴨醬:一種鴨血製成的調味品)
康尼島 紐約市布魯克林區的半島 著名的海上度假勝地
卡納維拉爾角 著名的航空海岸 美國航天飛機的發射地點
(小孩以為J是奧巴馬總統)
貓王 埃爾維斯·普雷斯利 美國搖滾樂史上影響力最大的歌手
韋爾瓦須後水 美國Combe公司出品的男士用品
清倉大處理
時空連續體 時間與空間共同組成的四維時空結構
雷達屏幕上出現的是伯格羅蒂特人的侵略戰艦
華爾街崩盤 新一輪金融危機蒸發億萬資金(1929年10月)
戰爭結束了(1945年8月)
報紙上刊登的是1969年7月16日人類即將首次登月的消息
阿姆斯特朗 1930年8月5日-2012年8月25日 第一個登上月球的宇航員 登月是人類的夢想 阿姆斯特朗準備好了
羅斯福飯店
美國上世紀60年代反主流文化口號 最初被用於反越戰遊行
康尼島
宇宙保齡球館
安迪·沃霍爾 20世紀藝術界最有名的人物之一 波普藝術的倡導者和領袖
羅斯威爾 美國墨西哥州城市 曾發生過著名的"飛碟事件"
西塔琴 最具代表性的印度古典樂器 被廣泛應用於全世界的搖滾樂中
米克·賈格爾 英國搖滾樂手 1969年擔任滾石主唱 酷愛酗酒吸毒和濫交
斯伯丁 體育史傳奇人物 棒球大聯盟奠基人 並投身專業運動器材的製造
(需要雙人配合舞步 這裡指聲東擊西戰術)
紐約郵政 今日登月
禁區
1969年7月16日 9點30分
背景歌曲為美國80後歌手艾莉西亞·凱斯的《帝國之心》
這裡隱指阿姆斯特朗登月感想 "這是一個人的一小步 卻是人類的一大步"
掃瞄結果 陶瓷炊具占 6% 有機物質占 94% 可通行
噢，噢，居然有人來看鮑里斯這個畜生 Well，well，Boris the Animal has a visitor.
我想每40年來一次是可以的 I guess one every 40 years is okay.
這是一個蛋糕 It's a cake.
是什麼我我決定了算 I decide what it is.
看起來像某種蛋糕 Looks like some kind of cake.
她是乾淨的 She's clean.
噢，不乾淨，但你知道... Well，not clean，but you know...
噢，天哪! Oh，God.
畜生鮑里斯 Boris the Animal,
你有訪客 you've got a visitor.
只是鮑里斯 It's just Boris.
你的信是一種滋養心靈的滋補品 Your letters have been a soul-nourishing tonic.
而且你比你的照片 And you are much more
異乎尋常地帥得多 unconventionally handsome than your photos.
這不是配偶探訪 This ain't a conjugal visit.
所以停止你們的交配行為吧! So quit your conjugating.
你最後一次交配是什麼時候的事了？ When's the last time you conjugated anything?
我知道你給我帶來了一份美食，親愛的 I see you've brought me a treat，darling.
你介意把這個為我們分切一下嗎? Would you mind cutting this up for us?
今天是個特殊的日子 It's a special day.
我就是這麼浪漫 I'm a romantic like that.
哦，我不會那樣做的 Oh，I wouldn't do that.
為什麼? Why's that?
這會毀了你的身材 It'll ruin your figure.
你完整了我 You complete me.
拿大的那把 The big one.
鮑里斯! 你答應帶我一起走的! Boris! You promised to take me with you!
我們說好了的! We had a deal!
俄巴底亞·普萊斯 Obadiah Price.
對 我確實向你保證過 Yes. I did make you a promise.
等等 我感覺有點不對勁 Wait. I smell something.
你逃不了的，鮑里斯 You can't win，Boris.
我可不這麼認為 Let's agree to disagree.
我們人多勢眾 There's too many of us.
這裡相當熱 介意我打開個窗戶嗎? Rather hot in here. Mind if I open a window?
對不起，親愛的 我們確實很喜歡蛋糕 Sorry，darling. We did love the cake.
讓我們改寫歷史，好嗎?，K？ Let's rewrite history，shall we，K?
下午好 Good afternoon.
大家請注意我的同事，特工J有話要說 Please give your attention to my associate，Agent J.
他將給你們示範如何使用 He's going to demonstrate
電生物力學神經傳遞 an electro-biomechanical neural-transmitting,
零突觸復位器 zero-synapse repositioner.
我們稱之為神經分析儀(記憶消除器) We call it the neuralyzer.
保持簡單、流暢 謝謝 Keep it simple，slick. Thanks a lot.
謝謝你，特工K Thank you，Agent K.
女士們先生們，如果你們看這裡 Ladies and gentlemen，if you will look right here.
你知道你在飛機上 You know how you're on an airplane
乘務員要求你關掉手機嗎? and a flight attendant asks you to turn your cellphone off?
你會說，"我不會關掉手機" You're like，"I ain't turning my cellphone off."
"這和該死的飛機沒關係" "That don't have nothing to do with no damn plane."
噢，這就是我們得到的 那就是發生的事情 Well，this is what we get. That's what happens.
它在上面，四處彈跳衛星於是...砰！ It gets up there，bounces around on the satellites and...bang!
所以僅僅把你該死的手機關掉 So it's that just turn your damn phone off.
現在你今晚要開車離開懸崖 Now you're gonna drive off a cliff tonight
因為你的全球定位系統廢了 because your GPS don't work.
檢查燃油裝置的成分和表面沉積物 Check the composition of the fuel units and surface deposits.
我想知道誰在開這東西 I wanna know who was driving the thing
是的，長官 Yes，sir.
今晚你打算說什麼？別擔心 What are you gonna say tonight? Don't worry.
不，我很擔心 這很重要 No，I'm very worried. This is important.
我餓了 你餓了嗎?K I'm hungry. You hungry? K.
說真的，我甚至不確定那是肉 Seriously，I'm not even sure that's meat.
我想我剛看到那東西的一顆牙齒 或者一隻爪子 或者一隻腳趾 I think I just saw a tooth in that thing. Or a claw. Or a hoof.
謝謝，曼尼 Thanks，Manny.
皮塔餅裡不該有那玩意兒 That does not belong in a pita,
放在棺材裡還差不多 it belongs in a casket.
你知道這樣做的好處是保持沉默 You know what would go good with this would be silence.
看，問題出在這裡 See，here's the problem.
你聞不出來 You can't smell it
因為你的鼻子已經有那種味道了 because your nose already smells like that,
但我的鼻子沒有 but my nose doesn't.
沉默對很多事情都有好處 Silence goes good with a lot of things.
你在任何時候試過或正在用呼吸的方式說話嗎? You ever try or is talking the way you breathe?
如果你恨我，就說你恨我 If you hate me，just say you hate me.
別拿車子出氣 Don't take it out on the car.
讓我享受一下這美味吧! Let me enjoy this.
哇，享受 Whoa，enjoyment.
所以那就是那張臉上享受看起來的樣子 So that's what enjoyment looks like on that face.
我喜歡那種陶醉的樣子 I like that emotion.
我從不自我陶醉 I keep emotion out of it.
排除什麼，K? 生活嗎? Out of what，K? Life?
你今晚真不打算讓我代言嗎? You don't wanna run it by me?
讓我知道你會說什麼？別擔心 Let me know what you'll say? Don't worry.
哦，不，我擔心 非常擔心 Oh，no，I'm worried. Very worried.
這是該男子的悼詞 你必須表現出某種感覺 It's the man's eulogy. You have to show some feeling.
你知道當他們改變面部表情時 You know that thing that human people do
人類會做什麼事嗎? when they change the expression on their face?
我和Z共事了40年 一個該死的特工 I worked with Zed for 40 years. A hell of an agent.
而且我為他寫了一篇精彩的悼詞 And I have written a hell of a speech for him.
人們會被感動的 People will be moved.
現在由K來說幾句話 And now a few words from Agent K.
我和Z共事超過40年了 I worked with Zed for over 40 years,
而在那段時間裡他從未邀請過我吃飯 and in all that time he never invited me to dinner.
他從未邀請過我去他家看比賽 He never asked me to his house to watch a game.
他從未分享過他個人生活的任何細節 He never shared a single detail of his personal life.
是的，他很奇怪 Yeah，he was weird.
謝謝大家 Thank you.
而現在我們將聽到我們的新主管致辭，特工O And now we will hear from our new chief，Agent O.
謝謝你，特工K 那太感人了 Thank you，Agent K. That was very moving.
那是你的悼詞？他是個好人 That was your eulogy? He was a good man.
女士們，先生們，其他生命形式朋友們 Ladies，gentlemen，other life forms.
當我告訴芬西亞人齊格洛特關於澤德去世的消息時 When I told the Finucian Zyglot about Zed's passing,
她說了一些我要重述的話 she said something that I'm going to repeat.
而我正在轉述 And I'm paraphrasing.
這就是如此澤德 That's just so Zed.
謝謝各位 Thank you.
你是不是犯傻了，二愣子? You lose something over here，Hondo?
你能不能答應我，如果我先走一步 Can you promise，if I go first,
在我的葬禮上說得更好些好嗎？ you'll do better than that at my funeral?
你知道，某些像是 You know，something like,
J是個朋友 J was a friend.
現在我有很大一部分已經消失了 Now there's a big part of me that's gone.
哦，J，所有我應該說的話 Oh，J，all the things that I should have said
除了我太老了而且四肢不穩，而且脾氣暴躁，而且身體很緊 except I was too old and craggy and surly and just tight.
我是個老頑固 I was too tight.
現在我會想念你的焦糖棕色皮膚 Now I'm gonna just miss your caramel-brown skin.
我會時刻準備著的 I'll wing something.
K，我是O 我們接到報告說 K，it's O. We have reports of
一些人感染了外星蛔蟲 several humans suffering from intestinal worms of alien origin.
謝了，O Thank you，O.
你是怎麼變成這副德性的? How did you get to be like you?
說真的，發生了一些事 K 怎麼搞的？ Seriously，something happened，K. What happened?
你知道我怎麼過得這麼快樂嗎? You know how I live such a happy life?
你怎麼過得這麼此快樂? How you live such a happy life?
我從來不設問 我也不想知道答案 I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answer too
那真深奧 That's deep.
傑弗瑞 Jeffrey.
我認識你嗎？ Do I know you?
您的服務堪稱傳奇 Your services are legendary.
你父親奧巴迪亞也是這麼說的 So says your father，Obadiah.
你曾在月絕禁監獄待過 You were in Lunar-Max.
沒有監獄能關得住我 There is no prison that can hold me.
對你來說很酷 你需要我做什麼，夥計？ Cool for you. What do you need from me，man?
時光穿梭儀 The device.
我要穿越回去殺個人 I'm going back in time to kill a man
在他把我的手臂打掉之前 before he takes my arm.
吳園酒家 鑽石花園海鮮飯店
K，J! K，J!
很高興見到你 吳先生給你弄了一張你們經常的的桌子嗎？ So happy to see you. Mr. Wu get you your regular table?
你不餓嗎？ You no hungry?
顯示給我們看看大水槽，吳 Show us the tanks，Wu.
哦，當然，當然 你看 非常新鮮 Oh，sure，sure. You look. Very fresh.
給我們看看後面的大水槽 Show us the tanks in the back.
非常抱歉 我不會說英語 你晚點回來，好嗎？ So sorry. No speak English. You come back later，okay?
別再為遊客們說那些廢話了，吳 Save the chop-socky bullshit for the tourists，Wu.
嘿，你們為什麼想把我的蛋蛋打破，蛤? Hey，what you guys wanna bust my balls for，huh?
你又沒有蛋蛋 You don't have no balls.
夥計，你看起來像是來自... Man，you look like you come from the planet...
混蛋星球 Damn.
而鮑勃顯然違反了 And Bob here is a clear violation of
健康法規第32條 Health Ordinance 32.
出售未經許可的 Selling unlicensed extraterrestrial
食品 foodstuffs.
那是一條地球魚 That is an Earth fish.
在中國非常傳統的菜餚 Very traditional in China.
你逮捕我，那是仇恨犯罪！ You arrest me，that's a hate crime!
那將會是如果你是中國人 It would be if you were Chinese.
K，拜託 我還得養家餬口 K，come on. I got larvae to feed.
刺釘妙蛙子是給誰準備的? Who is the Spiky Bulba for?
沒有人 Nobody.
給誰準備的? Who's it for?
我放著以備不時之需! I keep them in case!
萬一什麼？我不知道! In case what? I don't know!
誰都有可能! Anybody!
好吧!，你這個鼻涕蟲 All right，you slug.
吳，他和我現在的關係有問題 Wu，he and I are having issues in our relationship right now,
但你不應該為此而受苦 but you shouldn't have to suffer for that.
謝了，J Thank you，J.
所以如果你不喜歡被魚扇耳光 So if you don't like getting fish-slapped,
我需要你遵守我們的協定 I'm gonna need you to keep to our agreement.
地球人得到地球魚 真正的地球魚 Earth people get Earth fish. Real Earth fish.
代表我可憐的自己和卑微的孩子們 On behalf of my pathetic self and worthless children,
請你們留下 you stay.
讓我以無上的光榮 Allow me most honorable benefit
為您提供您最喜歡的麵條，K？ of serving you favorite noodles，K?
沒人想要吃你那爛麵條，吳 Don't nobody want your nasty-ass noodles，Wu.
你是一個狗屎，吳 You're a piece of shit，Wu.
加點蝦和白菜 Shrimp and bok choy.
我們要在這兒待上一會兒 We're gonna be here for a while.
那有點兒卑鄙的 That was just mean.
你剛才對吳做的 What you did to Wu back there.
把他的裙子都給剝了 Snatched his skirt off.
那真是無禮的 That's just disrespectful.
我以前和我爸爸玩過一個遊戲 I used to play a game with my dad.
叫做"你最後的晚餐你吃什麼" What'll You Have For Your Last Meal.
你可以做得比這更糟 You could do worse than this.
好的 Okay.
我以前和我爸爸玩過一個遊戲 I used to play a game with my dad,
叫做"接球" called catch.
只不過我是把球對著牆壁扔 Except I'd throw the ball and it'd just hit the wall
因為他不在那裡 because he wasn't there.
別說你老子的壞話 Don't badmouth your old man.
我沒說他壞話 我只是從來不真正瞭解他 I'm not badmouthing him. I just didn't really know him.
這是不對的 It's not right.
該死的當然不對了 一個小男孩需要一個父親 Damn right it's not. A little boy needs a father.
1號桌什麼都沒點 Table one hasn't ordered a thing.
那邊的三號桌剛剛喝了他的第四杯 Table three over there just drank his fourth cup
鴨汁 of duck sauce.
K，今天早上墜毀的飛行器是從 K，the crashed ship from this morning was stolen from
月絕禁監獄被偷的 Lunar-Max Prison.
畜生鮑里斯幹的 Boris the Animal.
你怎麼知道的? How did you know?
他對刺釘魚情有獨鍾 He has a taste for Spiky Bulba.
給我們一分鐘，好嗎，長官？ Give us a minute，will you，chief?
我們有活幹了 We're in a situation.
噢，是啊! Oh，yeah.
我去對付克羅洛普 I take the Chloropod.
你去對付塔蘭塔比 You take the Tarantabee.
還有那兒的海德洛尼安 And the Hydronian over there.
我負責廚房 I'll take the kitchen.
然後在街上會合 Meet you on the street.
這是我生命中一個非常困惑的時刻 This is a very confusing time in my life.
閉上你的嘴，低著你的頭 Keep your mouth closed，keep your head down.
你好，K Hello，K.
畜生鮑里斯 Boris the Animal.
只是鮑里斯 It's just Boris.
你並沒有太大的改變 You haven't changed very much.
我看到我擊中的那隻手臂仍然被射斷 I see the arm I shot off is still shot off.
是啊，我的胳膊 Yes，my arm.
在過去的40 年裡 We've thought about that moment
我們每天都在想著那一刻 every day for the last 40 years.
噢，那是沒有過上充實的生活 Well，that's just not living a full life.
我可以向你保證會比你活得更長 I can promise you it will be longer than yours.
也更孤單 Lonelier too.
因為你是最後一個站著的伯格羅蒂特人了 Since you're the last Boglodite standing.
我們會拭目以待 We'll see about that.
但首先，我要享受殺死你的樂趣 But first，I want the pleasure of killing you.
呦，K Yo，K.
你到底去哪兒了？抓魚 Where the hell have you been? Fishing.
你可能還不知道，K，但你早已經死了 You don't know it，K，but you're already dead.
你沒事吧!? You all right?
請大家注意一下，好嗎？ May I have everyone's attention，please?
謝謝 Thank you.
你知道你的孩子 You know how your kid
是如何在學校集市上用那個小袋子贏得金魚的 won the goldfish in that little baggie from the school fair
而你不想在你的房子裡有那個討厭的東西 and you didn't want that nasty thing in your house,
所以你告訴你的孩子牠跑了 so you told your kid it ran away
但你真正做的是把牠沖進馬桶？ but what you really did was flush it down the toilet?
噢，這就是發生的事情 Well，this is what happens.
好嗎? 明白我在說什麼嗎？不要對你的孩子說謊 Okay? See what I'm talking about? Don't lie to your kids.
老兄，我為此已經太老了 Man，I am getting too old for this.
我只能想像你的感受 I can only imagine how you feel.
畜生鮑里斯 Boris the Animal.
我很久以前就把他關起來了 I put him away a long time ago.
這是我犯過的最嚴重的錯誤 It's the worst mistake I ever made.
為什麼? 他是無辜的嗎? Why? Was he innocent?
早應該殺了他 Should have killed him.
噢，該死，我們去抓他 Well，shit，let's go get him.
不 No.
不，別管它 No. Leave it alone.
這超出了你的執行級別 It's above your pay grade.
我們是搭檔 我們有相同的執行級別 We're partners. We have the same pay grade.
這與你無關 管好你自己的事 It has nothing to do with you. Mind your own business.
好的，首先 Okay，first of all,
別用這種語氣跟我說話 let's get a little bit of that bass out your voice.
而其次，只要那刺釘佬還在城裡跑來跑去 And secondly，as long as Spikey Boy is running around town,
這是我的全部事情 this is my whole business.
你會忘記鮑里斯的案子 You'll forget about Boris
否則我的報告會反映出 or my report will reflect
你行為不當 that your conduct has been unbecoming.
噢，也許我的報告也會反映一些"檢舉"你，K Well，maybe my report is gonna reflect some shit too，K.
你被停職兩週 鬼扯 You are suspended for two weeks. Bullshit.
那就四週 Four weeks.
我辭職怎麼樣？ How about I quit?
有些事情在那裡你不需要知道 There are things out there you do not need to know.
那不是你招募我時告訴我的謊言 That's not the lie you told me when you recruited me.
怎麼了，潮男? 失去你的搭檔了? What up，pops? Lose your partner?
是的 Yeah.
前往阿法尊巴的下一班飛船 Next shuttle to Afazumba
將在22分鐘後起飛 leaving in 22 minutes.
搜索 Search
畜生鮑里斯 Boris the Animal.
畜生鮑里斯，伯格羅蒂特殺手 Boris the Animal，Boglodite assassin.
伯格羅蒂特人是一個凶殘的外星種族 Boglodites were a rogue alien race
吞噬了他們路徑上的所有行星 that consumed all planets in their path.
畜生鮑里斯是唯一的嫌犯 Boris the Animal was the only suspect
在地球上發生的一系列外星人謀殺案中 in a series of alien murders committed on Earth.
案件報告 Incident report.
畜生鮑里斯被判有罪 Boris the Animal was convicted
因以下發生在1969 年7 月15 日的謀殺案 for the following murders that occurred on July 15，1969.
兇案一，發生於康尼島，上午10:37 Murder number one，Coney Island，10: 37 a.m.
寓言家羅曼 Roman the Fabulist.
兇案二，工廠 Murder number two，the factory.
精確搜索 Refine search.
特工K Agent K.
特工新人K逮捕並拘留畜生鮑里斯 Junior Agent K apprehended and arrested Boris the Animal
在1969年7月16日 on July 16，1969,
在卡納維拉爾角，佛羅里達州 at Cape Canaveral，Florida.
卡納維拉爾角... Cape Canaveral...
K特工因英勇行動獲得最高表彰 Agent K received highest commendation for heroic action
包括了天網防禦系統的實施 including implementation of the Arc Net Defense System
保護地球免遭伯格羅蒂特人入侵 which protected the Earth from Boglodite invasion
並成功滅絕該種族 and led to the race's extinction.
詳細資料 Details.
訪問受限 Access restricted.
對不起? 許可級別高級代理 Excuse me? Clearance level senior agent,
資深特工 權限一級 Senior agent. class one.
訪問被拒絕 Access denied.
什麼? What?
所以為什麼突然對您合作夥伴的舊功績感興趣呢？ So why this sudden interest in your partner's old exploits?
鮑里斯和K之間到底怎麼回事? What happened between Boris and K?
那很簡單 That's easy.
K囚禁了鮑里斯 他建立了天網 K imprisoned Boris. He put up the Arc Net.
他保護地球免於受伯格羅蒂特人的侵害 He protected the Earth from the Boglodites.
他完成了他的工作 He did his job.
你知道那不是我要問的 You know that's not what I'm asking.
卡納維拉爾角，發生了什麼事? Cape Canaveral，what happened?
某些讓他改變的事情 Something that changed him.
別再問了 Leave it at that.
所以你們倆有很深的交情，蛤? So you two go way back，huh?
那是機密 That's classified.
一點建議，特工J A word of advice，Agent J.
不要問你不想知道答案的問題 Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
那很好笑 這正是K所說的 That's funny. That is exactly what K said.
他是個很睿智的男人 He's a very wise man.
休息一晚 Take the rest of the night off.
什麼事? What?
我想我欠你一些答案，夥計 Guess I owe you some answers，hoss.
什麼，你突然覺得想聊天了? What，you're feeling chatty all of a sudden?
我現在不方便說話 I can't talk right now.
我有自己的秘密案件正在處理中 I've got secret cases of my own I'm working on.
我不想把你從你的電子遊戲中抽離 I hate to tear you away from your video game.
好了，我要掛了 All right，I'm hanging up.
你知道宇宙中破壞力最強的是什麼嗎? You know the most destructive force in the universe?
糖果? Sugar?
是悔恨 Regret.
你不必等待 僅僅說 You don't have to wait. Just talk.
我答應過你宇宙的秘密 沒別的了 I promised you the secrets of the universe. Nothing more.
所以那裡有宇宙不知道的秘密？ So there's secrets out there that the universe don't know about?
媽媽 Mommy.
請問有什麼事? Can I help you?
K在不在? K?
這裡是5K 5k.
不好意思，那是巧克力奶茶嗎? I'm sorry，is that chocolate milk?
我可以讓嚐一口嗎? 不好意思 Can I...? I'm so sorry.
我不知該怎麼... I don't know what....
媽媽，總統在喝我的牛奶 Mommy，the president is drinking my milk.
真對不起 I'm sorry.
他沒說"請" He didn't say please.
K 進來了嗎？ K get in yet?
誰? Who?
你新來的? You new?
很搞笑，特工J Very funny，Agent J.
J，你昨天告訴我的一切，你都說對了 J，everything you told me yesterday，you were right as rain.
感謝上帝進行了10 小時的監視 Thank God for that 10-hour stakeout.
你是誰？Who are you?
確切地 今天我感覺自己煥然一新 Exactly. I feel like a whole new man today.
就像這個巨大的重量已經被舉起 Like this great weight has been lifted.
我一生都有憤怒的問題 I've had anger issues my entire life,
但現在我看到我在生自己的氣 but now I see I was mad at myself,
還有我的繼母 and my stepmom.
先生，我需要你停止說話 Sir，I'm gonna need you to stop talking.
就像我關閉了這個情緒窗口 It's like I closed this emotional window.
但昨天我用磚頭砸開了情感的窗戶 But yesterday I threw a brick through that window.
我只想感謝你遞給我那塊磚，J I just want to thank you for handing me that brick，J.
好的，不管你是誰，我需要你給我五英呎 Ok，whoever you are，I need you to give me five feet
否則我會扼住你的喉嚨 or I'll pluck you in your throat.
好吧!，我要去黑衣人辦公室 Ok，I'm gonna go to the little Men's-in-Black room
然後我們攜手找出那些災星來的蠢貨 then we'll go find those morons from Pox Ethera.
午飯我請 Lunch is on me.
那是誰？ Who was that?
雙A？你的搭檔 Double A? Your partner.
我需要你去給我拿些巧克力牛奶，好嗎？ I need you to go get me some chocolate milk，all right?
只要一個真正大杯的 還有你看見K了嗎? Just a really big glass. And have you seen K?
他請病假了還是怎麼的? Did he call in sick or anything?
K是誰? Who's K?
好吧，好吧，你去吧，快去 All right，all right，go ahead，go ahead.
K! K!
好的 All right.
你把我難到了 You got me.
我承認 非常有趣，非常精緻 I'll give it to you. It's funny，very elaborate.
哦，還有你們所有人，精彩的表演 Oh，and all of you，fantastic performances.
真不敢相信你等了14年 Can't believe you waited 14 years
才培養出幽默感 to develop a sense of humor,
但這是很好的一個 but this is a good one.
但是K，我需要你現在就出來 But K，I need you to come out here now
因為我開始有點生氣了 because I'm starting to get a little pissed off.
特工J，你介意小聲點嗎? Agent J，would you mind keeping your voice down
並告訴我你在找誰？ and telling me who it is you're looking for?
我在找K I'm looking for K.
K是誰? Who is K?
你也這樣? 連你也這樣 You too? You too.
我是說，他對你來說是誰？ I mean，who is he to you?
我的搭檔 My partner.
年長的紳士，110歲... Older gentleman，110...
也許111歲 maybe 111 years old.
有點脾氣壞的，有點貓王的事情發生在他身上 Sort of a surly，Elvis thing happening with him.
笑起來這個樣子 He smiles like this.
看到他在附近了嗎？ Seen him around?
我帶你去見K I'll take you to K.
謝了 Thank you.
那應該是什麼？那是K What is that supposed to be? That's K.
他已經死了40多年了 He's been dead for over 40 years.
好吧，你看，開玩笑的前提是要有趣 Okay，see，the prerequisite for a joke is that it be funny.
這從來都不好笑 It's never been funny.
電腦，特工K和畜生鮑里斯 Computer，Agent K and Boris the Animal.
黑衣人事件報告，1969年7月 Men in Black incident report，July，1969.
地點，卡納維拉爾角 Location，Cape Canaveral.
兇犯畜生鮑里斯逃脫並逃離了地球 Perpetrator Boris the Animal escaped and fled Earth.
被認為已返回 Assumed to have returned
20光年之外的伯格羅蒂亞星球 to planet Boglodotia 20 light-years away.
特工K在案發現場被宣佈死亡 Agent K pronounced dead at scene.
因採取行動 Awarded posthumous commendation for action
防止更大的人命損失而獲得死後嘉獎 which prevented greater loss of human life.
事實並非如此 That's not what happened.
我看過了這份報告 K把鮑里斯抓起來的... I looked at this report. K put Boris away...
特工K已經死了 Agent K is dead.
噢，我昨晚還和他通話 Well，I just talked to him last night.
你在胡思亂想 我才沒有亂想 You are imagining. I'm not imagining anything.
我現在需要一個心理小組來這裡 是的，夫人 I need a psych team up here right now. Yes，ma'am.
他刮完臉用的是韋爾瓦鬚後水 Aqua Velva aftershave.
這可不是我能亂想出來的 I didn't imagine that.
每一次盯梢，他都不停地放牛仔音樂 Every stakeout，endless hours of cowboy music.
每天早上喝咖啡時，他都會說 Every morning with his coffee，he'd say,
"我會告訴你一些事情的，滑頭" "I'll tell you something，slick."
"這咖啡喝起來有股土渣味" "This coffee tastes like dirt."
而我就會說，"你期待什麼？” And I was supposed to say，"What do you expect?"
"這是今天早上剛磨的" "今天早上" "It was ground this morning." "This morning."
你怎麼會知道的? How do you know that?
巧克力奶茶，先生? Chocolate milk，sir?
你去哪兒了，伙計？都有一個小時了 Where you been，man? It was like an hour ago.
等等 Wait.
你什麼時候開始喜歡喝巧克力奶茶的 How long have you been craving chocolatized dairy products?
就今天 Just today.
你現在是不是有點頭痛? 頭暈? Are you experiencing headaches? Dizziness?
失去平衡？ Loss of balance?
情緒激動? 內心壓抑? Agitation? Depression?
見鬼，是的 Hell，yeah.
有兩種可能 Two possibilities.
一是你被霍瓦蒂腦蟲咬了 One is you've been bitten by a Hovartian brain tick
隨時都可能在可怕的痛苦中死去 and could die in horrible agony at any moment.
該死的 不是腦蟲 Damn it. It's not the tick.
"該死，不是腦蟲?" "Damn it，it's not the tick"?
有比腦蟲更糟糕的東西嗎？ It's something worse than the tick?
你對巧克力奶茶的著迷 Your obsession with chocolate milk
表明你可能有短暫的顳部骨折 indicates that you might be involved in a temporal fracture.
我不知道你在說什麼 I don't know what you're talking about.
巧克力牛奶可以緩解顳部骨折的頭痛 Chocolate milk relieves temporal-fracture headaches.
什麼是顳骨骨折？ What's a temporal fracture?
一種歷史時間軸的斷裂 A break in the timeline.
我不知道你在說什麼 I don't know what you're talking about.
時空旅行! 時空旅行 Time travel! Time travel.
沒有時間旅行這回事 There's no such thing as time travel.
噢，有 沒有 Well，there is. No.
沒有 There's not.
如果真有這種事情 Because if there were.
像我這樣資深的高級特工 A class-one senior agent such as myself
早就意識到了，他不會嗎？ would have been aware of it，wouldn't he have?
除非他也沒達到級別 Were it not classified and way above his pay grade.
你知道，我需要升級 You know，I need a raise.
曾經有一個卑鄙的人，名叫俄巴底亞·普萊斯 There was one man，scumbag，Obadiah Price.
他想搞時空旅行，我們阻止了他 He figured it out，we busted him,
我們讓時間旅行在整個宇宙中是非法的 we made time travel illegal throughout the universe
而他現在月絕禁監獄服刑 and he is serving life on Lunar-Max.
不，那是鮑里斯被關的地方 No，that's where Boris was locked up.
如果鮑里斯掌握了如何時間跳躍 If Boris worked out how to time jump
他可以嚴重改變歷史進程 he could seriously change the course of history.
注意 早期預警系統啟動 Attention. Early warning system engaged.
有侵略戰艦進入太陽系 Inbound hostile warships entering solar system.
檢測到伯格羅蒂特標識及語言 Boglodite markings and language detected.
伯格羅蒂特 Boglodite.
鮑里斯就是伯格羅蒂特人，但他們已經滅絕了 Boris is a Boglodite，but they're extinct.
顯然還沒有 Apparently not.
災難性的地球襲擊迫在眉睫 Catastrophic Earth attack imminent.
啟動天網 Put up the Arc Net.
啟動什麼? The what?
天網 防禦系統 The Arc Net. The defense system.
K為防禦伯格羅蒂特人設置的 K got it for the Boglodites.
K早就不在人世了 There is no K.
他已經死了40年了 He's been dead for over 40 years.
沒有K 就沒有防禦系統 No K. No defense system.
鮑里斯穿越回去並殺了他 Boris jumped back and killed him.
如果你要拯救世界，就必須阻止這件事發生 If you wanna save the world，stop that from happening.
你得去找傑弗瑞·普萊斯 他是俄巴底亞的兒子 You have to find Jeffrey Price. He's Obadiah's son.
讓我們希望這個小子還沒有穿越回過去 Let's hope the little squirt hasn't skipped town.
祝你好運，J! 為地球祈禱吧! Good luck，J! This planet's toast.
我能幫你什麼？ How can I help you?
現在電池正驚爆促銷中 We're having an amazing sale on batteries.
好的，我們還有其他東西 Okay，we got other stuff,
比如耳機、轉接器或者... like headphones，adapters or...
你幫助了鮑里斯穿越時空的 You helped Boris the Animal time jump.
好吧，我不得不 那傢伙是個怪胎 Okay，I had to. That dude's a freak.
他殺了我搭檔 He killed my partner.
我想要知道你傳送他來的時間和地點 I want to know when and where you sent him.
什麼，你認為我保留了，比如，一本航海日誌？ What，you think I keep，like，a logbook?
目標向量，1969年7月16日 Target vector，July 16 1969
好的 All right.
你朋友的不幸我深表遺憾 That's a real bummer about your buddy.
我確信他是個好人 I'm sure he was a great guy.
但對於整個時空連續體來說 But in terms of the space-time continuum
你的朋友是歷史雷達上的一個小亮點！ your friend was a little blip on the historical radar!
那是一個很大的光點 That's a big blip.
好吧! 計畫是什麼？ Okay. What's the plan?
你要送我去 You're gonna send me.
回到1969年7月15日 Back to July 15th，1969.
不，那是個愚蠢的計劃 No，that's a stupid plan,
因為我把鮑里斯送回了7月16日 because I sent Boris to July 16th.
我才不擔心那個 I'm not worried about that one.
我會在老鮑里斯出現之前殺掉小鮑里斯 I'll kill the younger Boris before the older one shows.
那樣的話，他們兩個就都不存在了 That way，neither of them will even exist.
這就是為什麼你要穿上這黑西裝 That's why you get to wear the black suit.
你想讓我懸著手嗎？好吧! You're gonna leave me hanging? Okay.
哦，我剛想到一些事情 Oh，I just thought of something.
即使在那時，紐約就像一個大城市 Even back then New York was like a big-ish city.
所以你怎麼才能真正找到他呢？ So how are you gonna really find him?
7月15日，鮑里斯殺死了一個外星人 On July 15th，Boris killed an alien,
在康尼島上，寓言家羅曼 Roman the Fabulist，at Coney lsland.
你要先到那兒並等著嗎？ You're gonna get there first and be waiting?
夥計，他們應該給你兩套黑色西裝 Dude，they should give you two black suits.
兄弟，真的嗎？ My man，for real?
噢，對 抱歉 Oh，right. Sorry.
這才是真正的交易 時間跳躍裝置 This is the real deal. Time-jump gear.
非常稀有，非常古老 Very rare，very old.
但首先，我們要興奮起來 But first，we gotta get high.
嘿! 不行 Hey. No.
不，不，我的意思是，真的很高 No. No，I mean，really high.
嗨，老兄？這裡拉一把嗎？ Hey，man? A little help here?
謝謝 Thank you.
你知道時空穿越的規矩吧? You know the rules of time jumps?
給我一個簡短的版本 Give me the short version.
好的 你想救你的夥伴，奉勸一句 Okay. You wanna save your partner，word of advice.
離他遠一點 Stay away from him.
是的，明白了 遠離K 僅僅殺了鮑瑞斯 Yeah，got it. Stay away from K. Just kill Boris.
現在，拿好這個 Now，take these.
下去的路上風相當大 It gets pretty windy on the way down.
下去的路? The way down?
如果眼睛在流淚，很難看清時間刻度盤 With eyes tearing up，it's hard to read the time dial.
此外，它還能讓你看起來像一個真正的旅行者 Plus，it helps you look like a real time traveler,
這很酷 which is cool.
我不會從這棟樓跳下去的！ I am not jumping off of this building!
時空跳躍 Time jump.
好吧，現在我得把這個設置為15日 Okay，now I gotta set this thing to the 15th.
這似乎是正確的 That seems right-ish.
現在...你所要做的就是跳 Now...all you gotta do is jump.
嘿，嘿，停下 停下來 Hey，hey，stop. Stop it.
當你移動得足夠快時 When you're moving fast enough
那個圓圈會充滿 that circle is gonna fill
某種綠色的時間旅行液體 up with some sort of green time-travel liquid
然後它會變得很亮 and it's gonna glow really bright.
一旦那發生，你需要打破那條藍色激光線 As soon as that happens，you need to break that blue laser line
用你的大拇指劃一圈完成電路 with your thumb to complete the circuit.
在這個高度，應該是... At this height，that should be...
讓我們來看看 Let's see,
地球的重力加速度大約是每分鐘30英呎... mass of Earth and 30-something feet per minute...
每秒 32 英呎 每秒 It's 32 feet per second. Per second.
聽起來不錯 That sounds right-ish.
所以那將是 So that would be,
我猜，大概是離地面兩英呎 I guess，about two feet off the ground.
我在那兒阻斷鐳射線嗎? I break the laser line?
不，不要阻斷它 No，don't break it!
不，當我足夠快的時候！ 聽起來不錯！ No，when I'm fast enough! Sounds good!
我是阻斷激光線還是不阻斷激光線？ Do I break the laser line or do I not break the laser line?
千萬別丟了那時空跳躍器 Do not lose that time device
否則你會被困在1969年！ or you will be stuck in 1969!
這對你的人民來說不是最好的時候 It wasn't the best time for your people.
我只是說 這，就像，涼快多了 I'm just saying. It's，like，a lot cooler now.
我怎麼知道它是否有效？ How will I know if it works?
你要嘛知道 You'll either know
或你要嘛不知道 or you won't.
你肯定很喜歡這傢伙才會這麼做 You must really love this guy to do this.
噢，等等 為什麼就我記得K，其他人卻不記得? Oh，wait. How come I remember K，but nobody else does?
那意味著你在那裡！我在哪裡？ That means you were there! I was where?
如果你活下來了，你就得回來告訴我一切 If you survive，you gotta come back and tell me everything.
我在哪裡？Where was I?
你該走了! You gotta go!
僅僅走，走，走！ Just go，go，go!
快點！Come on!
老兄，今天星期幾? 星期二 My man，what's today? Tuesday.
日期呢? 15號 The date? The 15th.
月份? 7月 Of? July.
老兄，年代 1969 Dog，the year. 1969.
謝謝 Thank you.
看著我就像我瘋了一樣 Look at me like I'm crazy.
讓我們登記入住 是啊，是啊! Get us checked in. Yeah，yeah.
嘿! 嘿，幫我一個忙，好嗎？ Hey. Hey，do me a favor，all right?
小心行李 當然，先生 Be careful with the luggage. Absolutely，sir.
我為那個行李花了很多錢 I paid a lot of money for that luggage.
我們會好好照顧的 上一次，它被擦傷了 We'll take good care. Last time，it got scuffed up.
給你，先生 需要的時候就打下來 Here you go，sir. Just call down when you need it.
後備箱裡還有更多 There's more in the trunk.
是的，它會在您的房間裡，先生 僅管進去吧! Yeah，it'll be in your room，sir. Just go in.
打擾一下，打擾一下，那是誰？你是誰？ Excuse me. Excuse me，who is that? Who are you?
走吧！Let's go!
標新立異的，老兄! Far out，man!
如果你再亂摸剁了你的手，我不會 If you want to keep that，I wouldn't.
要做愛，不要作戰 Make love，not war.
我喜歡兩者都做 I prefer to do both.
警官們，你好嗎？我能為你做什麼？ How are you，officers? What can I do you for?
噢，看看這個 電動車窗 電動座椅 Well，look at this. Power windows，power seats.
我打賭這至少值六千美元 I'll bet you it cost 6 grand.
是的，它還有個頂篷，但它是隱藏的 Yes，and it has a roof，but it's hidden.
嘿，你是做什麼工作的？ Hey，what kind of work do you do?
一個有你特定種族信仰的人？ An individual of your particular ethnic persuasion?
也許他是一位有名的運動員 Maybe he's a noted athlete.
是的 底特律黑人隊的首發前鋒 Yes. Starting forward for the Detroit Darkies.
你從哪裡弄來的車？以及這西裝? Where'd you get the car? And the suit?
都是我偷的 I stole them both.
車從你老婆那兒 西裝從你奶奶那兒 Car from your wife suit from your grandmother.
看我們找到了什麼? 私藏武器? What do we have here? Concealed weapon?
嘿，這是他奶奶的西裝 Hey，it's his grandmother's suit.
嘿，這是什麼？應該是毒品吧? Hey，what's this? Probably drugs.
我有權利而且我要求 I have rights and I demand to see my lawyer
在你用力按下側面的那個小按鈕之前見我的律師 before you press that small button on the side firmly.
按下它 Press it.
那個，先生們，是一個標準版的記憶消除器 That，gentlemen，is a standard-issue neuralyzer.
你們不會記得它的 You're not gonna remember that.
而僅僅因為你看到一個黑人開著一輛好車 And just because you see a black man driving a nice car
並不意味著它是偷來的 does not mean it's stolen.
我是偷了那輛車 但不是因為我是黑人 I stole that one. But not because I'm black.
這車我馬上就用完! I'll be done with the car in a minute!
只要找到它並把它帶回羅斯福飯店的那個混蛋那裡 Just find it and take it back to the jerk at the Roosevelt Hotel.
阿卡南在哪裡？ Where is the Archanan?
你來得太晚了 You are too late.
他要把天網送給人類 He is going to give the humans the Arc Net.
我可不這麼認為 Let's agree to disagree.
我們將從這裡接手 We'll take it from here.
K? K?
K! K! K! K!
老爸，我在地球上 Dad，I'm on Earth.
我需要保釋 I need bail.
開藍色飛行艦的主人 Will the owner of a blue warp-speed cruiser
請到前台報道 please report to the front desk.
你該把那該死東西的電壓調低點 You need to turn the electricity down on that damn thing.
我嚐不到我瘋狂的舌頭，K Can't taste my fricking tongue，K.
你怎麼知道我名字? How do you know my name?
什麼? 因為我叫你"K"嗎? What? Because I called you "K"?
不，我管誰都叫K No，I call everybody K.
這是我的癖好 It's kind of my thing.
怎麼啦， K? What up，K?
好吧，我有點...K All right，I sort of...K
對，這是我的個性 我只是...有些人喜歡它 Yeah，that's kind of my thing. I just...Some people like it.
大多數人 Most people.
現在我知道你說謊時的樣子了 Now that I know what you look like when you're lying.
顯示我你說實話時的樣子？ Show me what you look like when you're telling the truth?
我在康尼島套圈比賽中贏的那些 I won those at Coney Island on the ring toss.
我贏過一次填充熊，但從沒贏過這些 I won a stuffed bear once，but never one of these.
一定很好，騙子 Must be good，slick.
好吧，長官，我還有正經事要做 All right，sir，I was minding my own business.
我在那兒等女朋友，她， I was waiting for my girl，who,
順便說一句，現在可能正急著找我 by the way is probably worried sick looking for me right now.
所以我只需要我的東西而且我需要回到她身邊 So I just need my things and I need to get back to her.
她叫什麼名字? What's her name?
你的女友，她叫什麼名字? Your gal，what's her name?
史泰倫 Schtaron.
史泰倫? Schtaron?
我打賭史泰倫很喜歡你的黑西裝 I bet Schtaron likes that suit of yours.
什麼，穿黑西裝有罪嗎? What，it's a crime to wear a black suit?
好吧，聽著 我又沒做什麼錯事 All right，listen. I haven't done anything wrong.
我需要離開這裡 我不能和你在一起 And I need to get out of here. I cannot be with you.
非常抱歉 Terribly sorry.
X對康尼島的事已經感到非常不安了 X is frightfully upset about the whole Coney Island incident.
多謝你的提醒 Thanks for the heads-up.
哦，夥計，這咖啡嚐起來像泥土 Oh，man，this coffee tastes like dirt.
你期待什麼？這咖啡... What do you expect? It was...
今天早上剛研磨的 Just ground this morning.
O? O?
不，我統稱女士為"O" No，I call ladies "O".
對我來說，O是陰性，K是陽性 To me，O is feminine，K is masculine.
你知道，我看到一對夫婦，我會像，"O-K" You know，I see a couple，I'm like，"O-K."
真是一團糟 有人員傷亡嗎？ What a mess. Any casualties?
有，寓言家羅曼 Yes，Roman the Fabulist.
有人類傷亡嗎？ Any human casualties?
沒有，長官 No，sir.
這傢伙到底是誰？ Who the hell is this?
聽著，我是... Look，I was...
被網抓到的迷路者人類 Stray human caught in the net.
給他編碼43並扔他回去 Code 43 him and throw him back.
您與瓦格蘭星人的會議要遲到了 You're late for a meeting with the Viagrans.
他們有一種革命性的新藥丸 They have a revolutionary new pill.
那可真是...It's really...
好的，騙子 Okay，slick.
我在等我的女友 I was waiting for my girl.
史泰倫 Schtaron.
對，她是希臘人 Yes，she's Greek.
好吧! 僅僅最後一件事 眼睛檢查 Okay. Just one last thing. An eye exam.
這可不是眼睛檢查，K That's not an eye exam，K.
那是一個大號記憶消除器! That's a big-ass neuralyzer!
你有很多資訊 You have a lot of information
對於一個什麼都不知道的傢伙來說 for a fella who doesn't know anything.
我明白你在說什麼 I see what you're saying.
你知道，K，我們需要等一下 You know，K，we need to hold up a second.
讓我們把這個護牙器放在這裡 Let's get this bite guard in here.
嘿，退後，退後 Hey，back up，back up.
K，聽著，我想一開始就給人不好的印象，好嗎？ K，listen，I think we got off on the wrong foot，all right?
所以讓我們停下來談談 So let's just stop for a second and talk.
別把我放進這裡，K! Don't put me in here，K!
太晚了，老兄 Too late，hoss.
K，不要，聽我說 我可以幫你處理這個案子！ K，no，listen to me. I can help you with this case!
K! K!
我在做真實的事！ 你正在錯過它！ I'm doing the truth face! You're missing it!
我會使用我的想像力 I'll just use my imagination.
K，你要找的殺手 K，the killer you're looking for.
我在追捕的同一個人 一個伯格羅蒂特人 I'm after the same guy. A Boglodite.
他叫鮑里斯 His name is Boris.
船已經起航了，朋友 Ship has sailed，amigo.
如果我們不幹掉他，就會出現兩個本體 If we don't get him，there'll be two.
你讓我全神貫注聽著 You had my undivided attention.
一個會有一隻胳膊 One will have one arm
而一個會有隻胳膊 K! and one's gonna have two. K!
聽我說! Listen to me!
如果你抹除我的記憶 If you erase me
你就等於清除了整個世界! you erase the world!
消除記憶15秒倒計時 Fifteen seconds to neuralyzation
14 Fourteen.
13 12 Thirteen. Twelve.
11 10 9 Eleven. Ten. Nine.
當你明天見到鮑里斯 When you see Boris tomorrow,
K、殺了他 不要逮捕他，殺了他！ K，kill him. Do not arrest him，kill him!
4 3 2 Four. Three. Two.
這機器停了嗎? 嘿，我不認為這一切都停了，K！ Is this thing off? Hey，I don't think it's all the way off，K!
它還在呼呼地作響和嗡嗡地作響 It's whirring and buzzing.
我不知道我是不是什麼都不記得了 I don't know if I don't know nothing.
我認識羅曼 I knew Roman.
有一次他的妻子給我做了晚餐 His wife cooked me dinner once.
雖說過程不怎麼愉快，但他是我朋友 While it was not pleasant，he was my friend.
最後一次機會，你是誰而且你知道什麼？ Last chance，who are you and what do you know?
我是來自未來的特工 I'm an agent from the future.
我們是搭檔 We're partners.
25年後，你會招募我 In 25 years，you'll recruit me
而14年後 and 14 years after that,
你今天不讓我殺的那個人 the guy you didn't let me kill today
逃出監獄 escapes from prison,
穿越回過去然後對地球發動大規模入侵 jumps to the past and unleashes an invasion of Earth.
我們還剩下19個小時去幹掉他 We got about 19 hours to kill him.
所以，真的，我們現在得走了 So，really，we need to go right now.
好吧! All right.
所以這就是你所相信的故事 So that's the story you believe.
那是事實 That one was the truth.
可能不全是真的，但是現在只能這樣 Wasn't the whole truth，but it'll do for now.
你在說什麼? 當然這是全部真相 What are you talking about? Of course it's the whole truth.
謊言的問題在於 The problem with a lie
一旦你開始說你就會讓自己... is once you start lying you put yourself...
特工K Agent K.
他還在這裡幹什麼？ What's he still doing here?
我可能審問他太長時間了 我想我會送他出去 I might have cooked him too long. Thought I'd walk him out.
我穿上了褲子 I put my pants on.
好了，未來人，現在去哪裡? Okay，future man，where to?
我不知道 I don't know.
你不知道是什麼意思? What do you mean you don't know?
我不知道 去你上次去的地方 I don't know. Go wherever you went last time.
我上次沒來過這裡 我沒告訴過你我去哪兒了？ I haven't been here last time. I didn't tell you where I went?
沒有 我的意思是，我們不真正說話 No. I mean，we don't really talk.
這是什麼樣的搭檔 What kind of partners sit in
14年來每天坐在一輛車裡卻不說話? a car every day for 14 years and don't talk?
的確如此 而這就是它導致的問題類型 Exactly. And this is the type of problem it causes.
這太不正常了 It's dysfunctional.
好吧，老兄，你最好能趕緊幫上點忙 All right，sport，you better get useful real quick
否則你回到43號房間 or you go back in room 43.
老兄...Man...
檔案裡好像提到關於工廠的東西 There was something in the file about a factory.
在工廠裡發生了一些事情 Something happened at a factory.
嘿，聽著，夥計，你可以隨心所欲地把你的絕地武士放在我身上 Hey，look，man，you can put your Jedi Knight on me all you want.
我就知道這麼多 That's all I got.
那讓你想起什麼了? That spark something?
羅曼被謀殺時身上帶著這個 Roman had this on his person when he was murdered.
這是一個火柴盒 It's a matchbook.
不，這是個線索 No，it's a clue.
他不抽煙 He didn't smoke.
你在這裡丟了什麼東西嗎，二愣子? You lose something over here，Hondo?
沒有 No.
嘿，夥計，你今年多大了？ Hey，man，how old are you?
29 Twenty-nine.
你還真是顯老 You got some city miles on you.
我開始明白我們為什麼不說話了 I'm starting to understand why we don't talk.
你怎麼知道這個地方? 我知道它的名聲 How well do you know this place? I know its reputation.
我不喜歡這樣 我討厭盲目行事 我需要我的槍 I don't like it. I hate going in blind. I'm gonna need my gun.
當然可以，機靈鬼 Sure thing，slick.
K! 等等，不，我要和你一起進去！ K! Wait，no，I gotta go in with you!
你坐著別動 我會沒事的 You sit tight. I'll be fine.
等等，不！不！ Wait，no! No!
K，不要一個人進去！ K，don't go in by yourself!
嗨，夥計們 Hi，fellas.
我需要見老闆 Need to see the boss.
他很忙 He's busy.
噢，我只是四處看看 Well，I'm gonna just take a look around.
看起來我們陷入僵局了 Looks like we have ourselves a standoff.
看起來是這樣的 Looks that way.
你還是喜歡把鑰匙藏在煙灰缸下面 Still keep the key under the ashtray.
幸運地猜到了 Lucky guess.
現在，我們說到哪裡了？ Now，where were we?
我正要告訴你滾開呢! I was about to tell you to screw off.
嘿，滑頭，你在未來打保齡球嗎? Hey，slick，you bowl in the future?
黑衣人聯盟冠軍，連續三年 MIB league champ，three years running.
噢，讓我們看看 Well，let's see it.
你不能就這麼闖進我的地盤 You did not walk into my establishment
並把我的頭扯下來！ and rip my head off!
夥計，我們沒多少時間 My man，we don't have a lot of time.
你真的需要告訴他一些事情 You really need to tell him something.
我會告訴他這個的！ I'll tell him this!
好吧，就用你的頭了 All right，your head.
等等 嘿，如果你這麼做了 Wait. Hey，if you do this,
我不會放過你的 I am gonna hunt you down
確保你在地球上剩下的 and make sure you walk funny for the rest
悲慘日子裡走路都很滑稽！ of your miserable last days on Earth!
堅韌的備件，滑頭 Tough spare，slick.
你們惹錯人了! You messed with the wrong head!
他的頭有點... His head's a little...
你得告訴我們多姆在哪? You gonna tell us where Dom is?
我會殺了你們兩個 我要殺了你們兩個！ I'll kill you both. I'll kill both of youse!
球沒拿穩是吧! 需要我擦擦嗎? Your hook's a little off. Want me to clean her?
當然了 不，不，不 Sure thing. No，no，no.
拜託，我剛用這玩意兒清理過洗手間! Come on，I just cleaned the bathroom with this thing!
別擦了! 別擦了! No cleaning! No cleaning!
好吧! 好的，好了！好的，他在後面 Okay! Okay，all right! All right，he's in the back.
但是他不會和你們這樣的黑衣人渣說什麼的 But he's not gonna talk to Men in Black scum like you.
現在把我的頭還我 Now give me back my head.
K，我把這個叫"低手球" K，I call this one "Low Hanging Fruit."
那個不是手指洞 That ain't a finger hole,
你這個變態的混蛋！ you sick bastard!
我會把你的頭擰下來 I'll pop your head off
並看看你會不會喜歡這樣 and see how you like it.
我會把你們兩個都殺了的! I'm gonna kill both of you!
我要殺了你們兩個！ I'm gonna kill the both of yourself!
我會殺了你們兩個！ I'll kill you both!
噢，我們路線沒錯 Well，we're on the right track.
只是選錯了車 Just the wrong train.
如果他有任何秘密... If he had any secrets...
我猜他已經把鮑里斯搾出來了 I'm guessing he spilled them.
聰明人會找出受害者的共同點 A smart man figures out what victims have in common.
聰明人會的 A smart man would.
那是一部很大的手機 That's a big-ass phone.
不要把它放在你的頭上 Don't put that up to your head.
特工O Agent O.
你今天過得怎麼樣，特工K？ How's your day been，Agent K?
中等一般 Fair to middling.
事情進展得怎樣？ How are things going?
很好，多謝關心 Very good，thank you.
嘿，你像是一小時前才見過她 Hey，you saw her like an hour ago.
我需要清理和控制宇宙保齡球館 I need cleanup and containment at Cosmic Lanes.
聽著，我發現了一個被殺的帕拉星人 Listen，I got a dead Parlaxian.
羅曼是巴沃德星人 Now Roman was a Byvoid,
和帕拉星屬於同一個星群... correct me if I'm wrong...
如果我錯了，請糾正我? from the same planetary grouping?
沒錯，它們都是三角星系的成員 Yes，a three planet system in the Triangulum Galaxy
被伯格羅蒂特星人悉數消滅了 wiped out by the Boglodites.
第三顆行星，是不是...？ The third planet，wasn't it...?
格萊美亞星? 格萊美亞星 Glamouria? Glamouria.
謝謝妳，O小姐 Thank you，Miss O.
我知道鮑里斯下一步要去哪裡了 I know where Boris is headed to next.
你說很接近了，滑頭 You were close，slick.
它不是普通工廠，它是"夢"工廠 It's not a factory，it's the Factory.
聽著，如果鮑里斯真的在裡面，我將殺了他 Look，if Boris turns out to be here，I'm gonna kill him.
我需要我的槍 I need my gun.
沒得談 No deal.
我已經做了14年的特工了 I've been an agent for 14 years.
也就是說我是這個案子的高級探員 Which means I'm the senior agent on this case.
現在，我不想拿職位壓你... Now，I hate to pull rank...
但我在指示我的初級探員 but I am instructing my junior agent
也就是你，現在就把我的槍給我 這是命令 that's you，to give me my gun right now. That's an order.
不，不，不，太空槍 No，no，no，space gun.
不用謝 You're welcome.
我沒說謝謝 I didn't say thank you.
對於這樣一個笨拙的物種來說，它們在地球上茁壯成長 For such an ungainly species，they've thrived on Earth.
做了三年的特工後 I was an agent for three years
才知道這些模特都是外星人 before I realized all models were aliens.
費了好大勁才發現 Found out the hard way.
密碼？Password?
嘿，聽著，稀奇古怪的60年代的傢伙 Hey，look，funky '60s dude,
我們沒有很多時間跟你囉嗦 we don't have a lot of time.
詹尼斯·喬普林 Janis Joplin.
這裡有誰不是外星人的嗎？ Is there anybody here who's not an alien?
很好 Very nice.
眨眼 不錯 Blink. That's good.
看著鏡頭 Look in the camera.
那是安迪·沃霍爾嗎? Is that Andy Warhol?
沒錯 Yep.
打擾了，沃霍爾先生，我們能借一步說話嗎? Excuse me，Mr. Warhol，could we have a minute?
現在不是時候 這是最好的選擇 Now is not a good time. This is a be-in.
僅僅問幾個問題 Just a few questions.
不問問題 不回答問題 No questions. No answers.
我正在做 Just being.
我們有急事要和你商量 We have an urgent matter to discuss with you
事關你的一位派對客人 regarding one of your party guests.
你何不下週再來 Why don't you come back
等發生的事情 next week，after the happening
發生了以後 has happened.
對不起，沃霍爾先生 Sorry，Mr. Warhol.
您說話速度太慢 我我們有事情要做 You like talking slow. We got stuff to do.
我要去拯救一個星球 I've got a planet to save.
你真讓人難受 You're distressing.
你的一切都讓我心煩意亂 Everything about you upsets me.
該死的，K! 你想揭穿我的身分嗎？ Damn it，K! Are you trying to blow my cover?
特工W，你的掩護身分很安全 Agent W，your cover is safe.
哇，安迪·沃霍爾是我們中的一員？ Whoa，Andy Warhol is one of us?
安全? Safe?
你瘋了嗎？我已經想不出主意了 You out of your mind? I'm so out of ideas.
看在老天的份上，我現在只能靠畫罐頭描香蕉營生了 I'm painting soup cans and bananas for christ sakes.
實際上，沃霍爾先生，我得告訴你 Actually，Mr. Warhol，I gotta tell you,
我特喜歡你的作品 I love your work.
噢，謝謝 Oh，thank you.
這個蠢貨是誰? Who's the dumb-ass?
在這裡講點職業禮儀怎麼樣？ How about a little professional courtesy here?
你說什麼，蠢貨? 再說一遍試試 What's that，dumb-ass? Say it again.
你想聽嗎? 我說你不敢 Want me to? I dare you.
蠢貨 Dumb-ass.
兩位特工 Agents.
你知道我給安迪·沃霍爾 You know I have no problem
拉皮條是沒問題的 pimp-slapping the shiznit out of Andy Warhol.
什麼? What?
你為什麼看著我？ Why are you looking at me?
哦，好吧! 你猜怎麼著？特工K Oh，all right. You know what? Agent K.
你為什麼不看看你能從特工W那裡得到什麼資訊 Why don't you see what information you can get from Agent W
而我去查一下週圍的情況 and I'll go case the perimeter.
這對每個人都有效嗎？去做吧! That work for everybody? Go do that.
怎麼樣? 哦，真可愛 How about that? Oh，cute.
好的 非常好 Okay. Very nice.
有人忘了打個盹? Someone forget his nap?
嘿，你好嗎？ Hey，how you doing?
令人不寒而慄 Chilling.
那傢伙是誰？ Who's that guy?
別告訴我他是你的新搭檔 Don't tell me he's your new partner.
實際上，他是我的老搭檔 Actually，he's my old partner.
他從未來穿越回來拯救地球... He traveled back from the future to save the planet...
天啊，別說了，別告訴我 我不想知道 Jesus，stop，don't tell me. I don't want to know.
安迪，洋子來了 Andy，Yoko's here.
洋子來了 Yoko's here.
告訴她我正在拍吃漢堡的男人 Tell her that I'm filming this man eating a hamburger.
它效果太卓越的 It's transcendent.
好了，現在換泡菜 All right，now the pickle.
你在我的地盤上做什麼，K？ What are you doing on my turf，K?
追捕一個殺手 來自伯格羅蒂特星 Tracking a killer. Boglodite.
我們有理由相信他接下來會襲擊這裡 We have reason to believe he's gonna hit here next,
一個格萊美亞星人 a Glamourian.
格萊美亞星人? 正確的太陽系，錯誤的星球 Glamourian? Right solar system，wrong planet.
他肯定是在找阿卡南人 He's gotta be after the Archanan.
阿克南星人已經滅絕了 Archanans are extinct.
顯然他們並非如此 上周還有一個被沖上岸 Apparently they are not. One washed ashore last week.
整個羅斯威爾都在為此而嗡嗡作響 The whole Roswell circuit's all buzz about it.
外星獨角獸 它的物種中的最後一個 Alien unicorn. Last of its species.
他叫格里芬 His name's Griffin.
阿卡南人格里芬 Griffin the Archanan.
你好嗎? How's it going?
好? 我好嗎? 這得看情況了 Going? How's it going? That depends.
對我個人來說，這很好，一切都很好 For me，personally，it's good，things are good.
除非我們在可能的未來 Unless we're in the possible future
那個肌肉男跟他的女朋友吵架 where the muscle boy argues with his girlfriend.
她怒氣沖沖地離開 She storms off and
撞到端著一盤填餡蘑菇的傢伙 bumps the guy with the stuffed mushrooms
他把托盤扣到那個正要離開的水手身上 who dumps the tray on the sailors on leave.
一場推擠比賽爆發了 A shoving match breaks out.
他們撞到了桌子上 They crash into the table.
在這種情況下，我必須像現在一樣移動我的盤子 In which case，I gotta move my plate like right now.
或者是我正在吃的薰牛肉三明治 Or it's the future where the pastrami sandwich I'm eating
導致我胃部不適的未來 causes me gastric distress.
幸虧，你的朋友提供了他右口袋裡的抗酸劑 Thankfully，your friend offers the antacids he carries
太好了 我會很好的 in his right pocket，so good. I'll be good.
除非將來我得在兩分半鐘後 Except in the future where I have to leave in two and a half minutes
離開他才有機會給我提供抗酸劑 just before he has a chance to offer me the antacids,
所以整體來說，我不得不說不太好 我不是很好 so on the whole，I'd have to say not good. I am not good.
但這要視情況而定 But that depends.
K! K!
我們怎麼才能找到這傢伙？ How will we find this guy?
我是什麼，一個笨蛋嗎？ What am l，a schmuck?
他在這裡? He's here?
"這裡"是一個相對的術語 "Here" is a relative term.
他是一個第五維空間的生命體 He's a fifth dimensional being.
他們可以以各種不確定的形態存在 They can live in and visualize an infinite set
在不同的時空同時出現 of time-space probabilities simultaneously.
似乎很有意思 幹得好 Sounds like fun. Good work.
哇，哇，K，K，K Whoa，whoa，K，K，K.
你得假裝我的死亡，好嗎？ You gotta fake my death，okay?
我不能再聽西塔琴音樂了 I can't listen to sitar music anymore.
好吧，我會看看我能做什麼 我會跟X談談的 All right，I'll see what I can do. I'll talk to X.
K，我分不清他們是男是女 K，I can't tell the women from the men.
我能看看你的錶嗎? May I see your watch?
噢，現在是7:18 Oh，it is 7:18.
不，不，你的另一支手錶，你父親給你的那支 No，no，your other watch，the one your father gave you.
你怎麼知道我父親的手錶？ How do you know about my father's watch?
噢，天啊! Oh，dear.
這是羅曼死了的地方 This is the one where Roman is dead
以及保齡球館的那個人也死了 死了這麼多人 and the gentleman at the bowling alley. So much death.
如此渺小的成功機會 Such an infinitesimal small chance for success.
K! K!
格里芬，對吧？ Griffin，right?
我們來這裡... We're here...
因為畜生鮑里斯 Because of Boris the animal.
正確 我們認為他是... Correct. We think he's coming...
來殺我的 他兩分鐘後就到了 To kill me. He'll be here in two minutes
除非我們 unless we're in
在可能的未來他讓所有的燈都暢通無阻 the possible future where he made all the lights unbarring
並且提前到達此地 and got here early and is just about
正準備從門口開槍 to discharge weapon from the doorway
在這種情況下我們都會在兩秒鐘內死掉 in which case we're all dead in two seconds.
很好，差一點兒 Good，that was a close one.
K，我需要一把太空槍 K，I need a space gun.
伯格羅蒂特星人 The Boglodites
吞噬他們路徑上的任何行星 consume any planet in their path.
我的，羅曼的，帕拉星人的 Mine，Roman's，the Parlaxians'.
我試著阻止他們 I tried to stop them,
但如果我們在這裡阻止他們 but if we stop them here,
如果我們讓他們在地球上鎩羽而歸... if we deny them Earth...
我們可以永遠阻止他們 他們會在 we can stop them forever. They'll starve before
到達下一個星球之前餓死 they reach the next planet.
還剩63秒 Sixty-three seconds.
我們該怎麼做呢？阻止他們？ How do we do that? Stop them?
什麼? What?
抱歉 我有東西要給你們 Sorry. I have something for you.
一個禮物 它會保護你們 A gift. It can protect you.
我不得不對鮑里斯隱瞞這件事 I had to hide it from Boris,
但如果你再找到我 but if you find me again,
我會把它交給你的 I'll give it to you.
謝謝 真是一場精彩的比賽！太棒了！這真是個奇跡！ Thank you. What a game! Amazing! It's a real miracle!
你是什麼意思？什麼奇跡? What do you mean? What miracle?
30秒 我必須走了 Thirty seconds. I have to go.
不，我們會照顧你的！ No，we got you.
當我們說話的時候，負面的可能性正在成倍增加 Negative possibilities are multiplying as we speak.
好吧! 二十秒 Okay. Twenty seconds.
好吧! All right.
我們知道了，放輕鬆點 We got it，relax.
如果你的錶壞了 而我有胃病... If your watch is broken and I have gastric...
飛吧! 在這個世界上找到你的位置！ Fly! Find your place in the world!
噢，天哪! Oh，dear.
鮑里斯就要從那扇門進來了 This is the one where Boris is coming through that door
在12秒內 in 12,
11 10 11，10,
等一下! Wait!
你今天早上喝巧克力奶了嗎？ Did you have chocolate milk this morning?
是的 Yes.
辛迪 Cindy.
K! K!
格里芬! 抓住他 Griffin! Got him.
該死! Damn it!
我很好，我很好 I'm good，I'm good.
你得到什麼了？ What you got?
該死! 我們原本抓到他了！ Damn it! We had him!
放輕鬆，科奇斯 我們會找到他的 Relax，Cochise. We'll find him.
首先，我叫J，好嗎？ First of all，my name is J，okay?
它不是"孩子"，它不是"滑頭” It's not "Son," It's not "Slick".
而且它肯定不是什麼"科奇斯” And it damn sure ain't no "Cochise."
我不會放輕鬆 I'm not gonna relax
因為我們的時間不多了，我們的線索也快用完了 because we're running out of time，we are runninng out of clues
而且入侵就要來了 and there's an invasion coming.
你難道沒聽出我聲音裡的緊張感嗎? You're not really recognizing my voicial intensity.
但有一個人能幫上忙 But there was one guy who could help.
嘿，格里芬! 格里芬! 格里芬在哪裡？ Hey，Griffin! Griffin! Where's Griffin?
格里芬 格里芬在哪，K？ Griffin. Where's Griffin at，K?
他消失了 He's gone.
如果鮑里斯在我們之前找到他，那就不是什麼好事了 If Boris gets to him before we do，that's no bueno.
我們需要派 We need pie.
什麼? 我爺爺總是說 What? My granddaddy always said,
"如果你有一個無法解決的問題” "If you got a problem you can't solve,"
"這有助於從你的腦海中走出來" 派 "it helps to get out of your head." Pie.
派? 沒錯 Pie? Yeah.
你爺爺，體格很壯的那個男人？ Your granddaddy，heavyset man?
有一點 是啊，你知道嗎？ A little bit. Yeah，you know what?
我們一直在做聰明的事情 We've been doing smart stuff.
我們一直在追蹤線索，做真正的警察工作 We've been following clues，doing real police work.
也許是時候我們做點蠢事了 It might be time we do something stupid.
一些跟什麼都沒有關係的事情 Something that ain't got nothing to do with nothing.
現在，我想要吃一些派，K，我想要吃一些派 Now，I want some pie，K. I want some pie.
我們去吃傻瓜派吧! Let's go get dumb-ass pie.
聽起來不錯 Sounds good.
有什麼特別推薦嗎? Have any specials?
他看了10分鐘菜單後 He'll have the same thing he always
就會吃到和平時一樣的東西 has after he reads the menu for 10 minutes
並問了兩次特別推薦 and asks about specials twice.
給他一份蘋果派再加一份難吃的切達乾酪 A slice of apple pie with a nasty piece of cheddar.
我要一個草莓大黃派 I'll have the strawberry-rhubarb.
因為這是我的最後一頓飯，所以我要稍微揮霍一下 Since it's my last meal，I'm gonna splurge a little bit.
世界級連環殺手逍遙法外 World-class serial killer out there
而我們卻在這裡吃派 and we're having pie.
你在閒暇時間做什麼，緊張男？ What do you do in your spare time，stretch?
你看，我覺得你沒有深入理解吃派的真諦 See，I sense you're not embracing the concept here.
除非你放手否則派是不會起作用的 Pie don't work unless you let it.
我會放手的 I'm gonna let it.
而你說我們不說話？ And you say we don't talk?
你先來 有什麼問題都可以問我 你想要什麼都行 You go ahead. Ask me any question. Anything you want.
只要跟案件無關的就行 放馬過來吧! As long as it doesn't have to do with the case. Just let her rip.
你和O怎麼了？ What's up with you and O?
我和O? Me and O?
是的，你和O Yeah，you and O.
好的，好的 All right，all right.
好了，就是這樣了 All right，this is it.
不久前，我被指派跟蹤一位音樂家 A while back，I was assigned to keep tabs on a musician.
米克·賈格爾? Mick Jagger?
他是英國，滾石樂隊的成員 He's in this British band，the Rolling Stones.
聽起來耳熟 Rings a bell.
我們相信他在這個星球上是為了和地球上的女人繁衍後代 We believed he was on the planet to breed with Earth women.
所以我在倫敦，而就在那時我遇到了O So I was in London and that's when I met O.
她很聰明 風趣 燦爛的笑容 Just smart. Funny. A great smile.
我們發現自己在這個酒吧裡，這是個吧座，好嗎？ And we find ourselves in this pub，which is a bar，all right?
溫啤酒和你吃過的最難吃的食物 Warm beer and the worst food you ever ate.
我們只是玩飛鏢直到太陽升起 We just played darts till the sun came up.
我們倆都不想離開 Neither of us wanted to leave.
你們到底發生了什麼事，夥計？ What the hell happened to you，man?
我不知道 這件事還沒有發生 I don't know. It hasn't happened yet.
拜託，你呢，滑頭？ Come on，what about you，slick?
在未來，你給自己找了個女孩嗎? In the future，you got yourself a girl?
我有你 I got you.
我不敢相信，該死的紐約大都會隊 I cannot believe this，freaking New York Mets.
徹底的失敗者！ Total losers!
作為大都會隊的球迷，這是一段艱難的時期 It's a rough time to be a Mets fan.
跟我說說吧! 永遠追不上小熊隊 Tell me about it. Never gonna catch the Cubs.
真好笑 大都會隊今年實際上贏了所有的比賽 That's funny. The Mets actually win it all this year.
噢，是的 Oh，yeah.
不，我是認真的 No，I'm serious.
我很確定 I'm sure.
聽著，三個月後，你的坐那兒的朋友們... Look，three months from now，your buddies down there...
會叫他們為神奇大都會隊 are gonna be calling them the Amazing Mets
和奇跡大都會 and the Miracle Mets.
什麼? What?
有什麼不對嗎，夥計? What you got there，hoss?
那個阿卡南人說，"太神奇了！" The Archanan said，"It's amazing!
"這真是個奇跡！我們在比賽現時候見" "It's a miracle! I'll see you at the game."
我知道他在哪了 I know where he is.
告訴過你要相信派的 Told you to trust the pie.
如果格里芬是來看比賽的話 If Griffin's here for a game,
他來得要嘛太早要嘛太晚了 he's either too early or too late.
他在這兒 He's here.
我們只需趕在鮑里斯之前找到他 We just gotta find him before Boris does.
是時候把你的東西還給你了 It's time to give you your things back,
老搭檔 partner.
你吃了派就會變得糊里糊塗的 You get some pie in you，you get all mushy.
我只是厭倦了攜帶你的東西 I'm just tired of carrying your stuff.
來吧，現在！好的! 我們走吧! Come on now! All right! Let's go,
大都會! Mets!
加油，大都會隊！加油 Let's go，Mets! Let's go.
大都會隊！加油，大都會...格里芬? Mets! Let's go，Met...Griffin?
你們來得正是時候！ You're just in time!
除非羅賓森那一記 Unless this is the one where
三壘球出現重大失誤，否則一切都快結束了 Robinson bad-hops it past third，it's almost over.
我們錯過什麼了嗎? Are we missing something?
比賽 The game.
你就是這樣預知未來的方式？這太神奇了 So this is how you see things? This is amazing.
這是一個巨大的討厭的事情 不過還是有好處的 It's a gigantic pain in the ass. But it has its moments.
這場比賽要到10月份才會進行 This game doesn't happen till October.
一直都是十月 It's always October
和十一月以及明年三月 and November and March.
那麼多的未來，而且都是真實的 So many futures，and all real.
不知道哪一個會連結 Don't know which will coalesce.
在那之前，它們都在發生 Until then，they're all happening.
像這個，這是我在人類歷史上最喜歡的時刻 Like this one，it's my favorite moment in human history.
為了大都會贏得世界系列賽 All the things that had to
所有這些都必須匯聚在一起 converge for the Mets to win the World Series.
他們每個賽季都是最後一名 They were in last place
直到他們全部奪冠 every single season until they won it all.
你說你有個禮物要給我們 You said you had a gift.
那個在第五場比賽中 That baseball
最後一次投出的那個棒球 thrown for the last out of game five,
由斯伯丁工廠於'62年製造 manufactured in '62 by Spalding factory
產於馬薩諸塞州，奇科皮市 of Chicopee，Massachusetts,
它的飛行軌跡存在缺陷 was aerodynamically flawed
因為有塊馬皮在打磨時出了問題 due to the horsehide being improperly tanned
因為打磨師的老婆謝拉在那個週日 because Shella，the tanner's wife left him
跟波多黎各的高爾夫球員跑路了... for a Puerto Rican golf pro that Sunday...
禮物? The gift?
哦，是的，當然 在盒子裡 Oh，yes，of course. In the box.
這是個驚喜 來保護地球 It's the surprise. To protect the Earth.
這是一個保護網 It's a shield.
保護網 Shield.
阿卡南人 天網 Archanan. Arc Net.
這就是你所做的 你佈置了天網 That's what you did. You put up the Arc Net.
怎麼佈置? How?
當那球扔向戴維·約翰遜 When that ball is pitched to Davey Johnson
他成為了一名棒球運動員 who became a baseball player
是因為他爸爸不能 because his dad couldn't
找到一個足球給他當八歲生日的禮物 find a football to give him for his 8 birthday,
球打在球棒上 it hits
他的球棒高了兩微米 his bat two micrometers too high
導致他突然出現在克萊恩·瓊恩斯身邊 causing him to pop out to Cleon Jones
而克萊恩·瓊恩斯本來就是克拉拉 who would've been born Clara,
一個統計打字員，如果他的父母 a statistical typist，if his parents
那天晚上睡覺前沒有多喝一杯酒的話 didn't have an extra glass of wine that night before going to bed.
奇跡 A miracle
是看似不可能的事，但無論如何都會發生 is what seems impossible but happens anyway.
我失去了我的星球 I lost my planet.
我不想讓你失去你們的 I don't want you to lose yours.
這需要一個奇跡 It'll take a miracle,
但如果你們能把它發射成功 but if you pull this off
你將成為我 you'll be my new favorite moment
在人類歷史上最喜歡的時刻 in human history.
噢，天啊! Oh，dear.
我忘了看到這一幕即將到來 I forgot to see this one coming.
該死的! Damn it!
未來會有這些嗎? Have these in the future?
沒有 No.
上來 Get on.
將陀螺儀設置保持為零點位置 Keep gyro settings at zero gain.
將傾斜度和偏航值平衡圍繞中心桿 Balance pitch and yaw with bursts on the center stalk
設定力度在80到100單位之間 between 80 and 100 psi.
我不明白 I didn't understand
那任何一件事！ any of that!
羅盤歸零 就是這樣 Gyro at zero gain. lt is.
傾斜度和偏航值平衡圍繞中心桿 Pitch and yaw with short bursts on the center stalk.
我做了! I did!
設定力度在80到100單位之間! Between 80 and 100 psi!
明白了 Got it.
天網！把它給我！ The Arc Net! Give it to me!
我不認為現在是你得到它的時候! I don't think this is the one where you get it!
還好嗎，頭兒？見鬼，是的 All right there，chief? Hell，yeah.
有四個輪子會更好！ It'd be better with four wheels!
兩個，像是，我的最低要求了 Two is，like，my minimum.
如果鮑里斯得到了天網會發生什麼？ What happens if Boris gets the Arc Net?
伯格羅蒂特入侵，地球會徹底毀滅! Boglodite invasion，total destruction of Earth!
盒子給我! The box!
好孩子 Good boy.
我們得阻止這傢伙！ We gotta stop this guy!
我一直在努力！ I've been trying!
難道你不是嗎? You haven't been trying?
嘿，滑頭 Hey，slick.
在未來，我們有沒有跳德州兩步舞? In the future，we ever do the Texas two-step?
是的，先生! Yes，sir!
你抓到他了嗎？ Did you get him?
給我一點時間 Give me a sec.
他死了嗎? Is he dead?
沒有 Negative.
他逃走了 He got away.
我得到了格里芬 我們離開這裡 I got Griffin. Let's get out of here.
我已經覺得自己年輕了 I feel younger already.
你這個可悲的伯格羅蒂特人肉廢物 You pathetic waste of Boglodite flesh.
如果我不是珍惜自己的生命，我現在就會殺了你 I'd kill you right now，if I didn't value my own life.
你是誰? 看看你自己 Who are you? Look at you.
我犯過的每一個錯誤 Every mistake I've ever made,
都在等待發生 just waiting to happen.
我的胳膊怎麼了？ What happened to my arm?
你失去了它，被一個人類打斷了 You lose it，shot off by a human.
沒有人類能打敗我 No human could defeat me.
接下來的40年你在監獄裡度過 You spend the next 40 years in prison,
像動物一樣被鎖著 chained up like an animal.
沒有哪個監獄能夠關住我! No prison can hold me!
他們，在月球上專門為我們造了一個 They built one especially for us，on the moon.
人類還沒登上月球 No human has been to the moon,
所以他們不可能已經在那裡建造了它 so they cannot have built it there already.
別爭辯了！如果你聽我說你就能避免這一切！ Stop arguing! You can avoid all of that if you just listen to me!
你被打敗了！你讓它被打斷了！ You were defeated! You let it get shot off!
那不是我，那是你！ That wasn't me，that was you!
你有什麼計劃? What's your plan?
阻止他們佈置天網 Prevent the Arc Net from being deployed.
殺掉任何要這麼做的人 好計劃 Kill anyone who tries. Good plan.
沒有用 Didn't work.
只有在我的幫助下 With my help,
我們才能拿到天網，殺掉特工K we'll get the Arc Net，kill Agent K,
入侵地球才會成功 The invasion will be successful,
而且我們就能保住我們倆的... and we'll get to keep both of our ar...
別...盯著它看！ Stop...staring at it!
聽著 Listen.
你沒事吧? You all right?
是的 謝謝你救了我的命 Yeah. Thank you for saving my life.
這就是我們要做的 It's what we do.
天網還在你手上嗎? You still have the Arc Net?
當你被畜生鮑里斯追殺的時候 When you're being hunted by Boris the Animal,
你會變得善於隱藏東西 you get good at hiding things.
這將會拯救你的世界 This will save your world.
一旦它離開大氣層，它就會變得更大 Once it's outside the atmosphere，it gets a whole lot bigger.
你們所要做的就是部署它 All you have to do is deploy it.
你是說在太空嗎？噢，你覺得我們該怎麼做呢？ You mean in space? Well，how do you suppose we do that?
只需要一小步 It's just one small step.
登月計劃 The moon launch.
卡納維拉爾角 Cape Canaveral.
1969年7月16日 July 16th，1969.
我們有六個小時的時間去佛羅里達州 We got six hours to get to Florida.
最好快點，滑頭 Better get a move on，slick.
等等，等等 Wait，hold up.
不是我們 我要單獨一個人做這件事 Not us. I'm gonna do this one alone.
他必須是那個... He has to be the one...
格里芬 Griffin.
你說單獨一人是什麼意思？ What do you mean，alone?
我要去佛羅裡達 你得留在這裡 I'm gonna go to Florida. You gotta stay here.
我需要你在這件事上相信我 I need you to trust me on this one.
相信你? 我不這麼認為 Trust you? I don't think so.
你有什麼事瞞著我嗎，滑頭？ Something you're not telling me，slick?
我告訴你，你不會去佛羅里達的 I'm telling you that you're not going to Florida.
那是不可能的，搭檔 That ain't gonna happen，partner.
聽著，K，拜託，我不會允許你去佛羅里達的 Look，K，please，I will not allow you to go to Florida.
阻止我吧! Stop me.
你會死在那兒! You die there!
卡納維拉爾角 阿波羅計劃 Cape Canaveral. Apollo launch.
鮑里斯在那裡殺了你 Boris kills you there.
這是我為什麼在這兒的原因 That's what I'm here for.
這就是我回來要阻止的 That's what I came back to stop.
噢，天哪! 原來我是在這個時空裡 Oh，dear. We're in this one.
K，我看了檔案，看了報告 K，I saw the file，I looked at the report.
我說我把一切都告訴你了... I said I told you everything...
這一拳是為你瞞著我而打的 That's for lying to me.
聽著，我很抱歉，夥計！ Look，I'm sorry，man!
這一拳則是因為告訴我真相打的! That's for telling me the truth!
我在試著保護你，夥計！ I'm trying to protect you，man!
最苦澀的真話也比最甜蜜的謊言要好 The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lies.
他必須去卡納維拉爾角 He has to go to Cape Canaveral.
他必須像以前一樣部署天網 He must deploy the Arc Net as he did before.
沒有其他辦法了 There's no other way.
K是拯救地球唯一的希望 K is the only hope in saving Earth.
我能救他嗎? Can I save him?
我有沒有未來能救他的命？ Is there any future where I save his life?
有 Yes.
但注定的死亡總會在注定的時空中發生 But where there is death，there will always be death.
據你所說，我以前也這麼做過 According to you，I've done this before.
所以我們知道這是可能的 So we know it's possible.
如果你是你所說的一半的特工 If you're half the agent you say you are,
你就能確保我不會被殺 you'll make sure I don't get killed doing it.
所以我們是搭檔嗎？你來告訴我 So are we partners? You tell me.
我們走吧! Let's go.
K特工，你還好嗎? Agent K，how are you?
我很好 I'm good.
好了，在去做我們正在做的事情的路上，集體擁抱 Okay，group hug on the way to doing what we're doing.
今天早上，人類即將 This morning，man is about to
發射他們自己去月球旅行 launch himself on a trip to the moon
期待著登上月球 with the expectation of landing there.
聽著，我得問你 Look，I gotta ask you.
如果我們成功了，事情就會恢復原樣 If we pull this off，fix things the way they were.
O和我，我們是不是...？ O and I，are we...?
一個智者曾告訴過我 A wise man once told me,
不要問你不想知道答案的問題 don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
是我說的，不是嗎？是的，先生 I said that，didn't I? Yes，sir.
他們在這 Here they are.
他們是什麼? 火箭飛行器 What are they? Jetpacks.
火箭飛行器? Jetpacks?
不，不，不 我們不坐飛行器過去 No，no，no. We're not doing jetpacks.
這玩意在未來被淘汰是有原因的 There's a reason we don't have these in the future.
K ，我們得開過去 K，we gotta drive.
我不能在5小時內從曼哈頓開車到佛羅里達，頭兒 Can't drive to Florida from Manhattan in five hours，chief.
是的，我們可以 紅色按鈕，每輛黑衣警探車的標準配置 Yeah，we can. The red button，standard issue in every MIB car.
按下紅色按鈕，進入超光速引擎 Press the red button，goes into hyperdrive.
還沒有紅色的按鈕，滑頭 No red buttons yet，slick.
拜託，夥計 Come on，man.
你知道怎麼操作這個愚蠢的東西嗎？ Do you know how to work this stupid thing?
就像對待任何事情一樣 It's like with anything.
你只需要繫好安全帶，抱最好的希望 Just have to strap yourself in，hope for the best.
對不對，O小姐? Isn't that right，Miss O?
不幸的是，事實的確如此 Unfortunately，it is.
你準備好了嗎，滑頭？ You ready，slick?
我們去做吧! Let's get it.
這一定會很有趣的！ This is gonna be interesting!
距離阿波羅11號 It's just minutes to the
歷史性的發射只有幾分鐘的時間 historic launch of Apollo 11
到目前為止一切都很順利 with all going well.
真慶幸沒有進入半路爆炸的時空 I'm so glad this isn't one of the times we explode.
爆炸的時空? One of the times?
哦，我們有客人了 Oh，we got company.
搞什麼鬼？The hell?
那是電池帶嗎？ Is that a battery belt?
好的，我知道了 All right，I got it.
不，任何讓防護罩部署的現實 No，any reality that gets the shield deployed is one
都是你說真話的現實 where you tell the truth.
現實? The truth?
照實說是唯一的方法 The truth is the only path.
這裡是禁區! This is a restricted area!
是的，長官，是的 Yes，sir，it is.
日安，先生們 Good day，gentlemen.
今天對美國來說是偉大的一天，不是嗎？ Great day for America，isn't it?
我是特工J 這位是特工K 那位是格里夫 My name is Agent J. This is Agent K. That's Griff.
我們來自一個祕密的政府組織 We're from a secret government organization
監管和監測 that polices and monitors
外星人在地球上和地球外的活動 alien activity on and off planet Earth.
事情是這樣的 Here's the thing.
我們得把這個格里夫給我們的 We have this special little metal thingy
特別的小鐵塊 that Griff gave us
放在火箭的頂部 that we have to get on top of that rocket
來阻止外星人入侵 to prevent an alien invasion.
這招奏效了 That worked.
就像一種護身符。長官，德爾塔之門 我們有一情況 Like a charm. Sir，Delta Gate. We have a problem.
三個入侵者 沒有身分證，但他們有武器，長官 Three trespassers. No lDs，but they've got weapons，sir.
這些武器我以前從未見過的 Some kind I've never seen before.
你們敢在人類史上最重要的一天 What breed of fool do you have to be
你是什麼類型的傻瓜 to penetrate my site on the day of the most massive feat
才會進入我的場所? attempted by mankind?
在上帝，地球上的人們 Watched by God，the population of the planet
還有我自己的第一個孩子的注視之下! and my own firstborn!
上校? Colonel?
上校，他們有這些 Colonel，they had these.
他們說，他們需要在火箭上放些東西，以防止入侵 They said they needed to put something on the rocket for an invasion.
謝謝 Thanks.
我還有10分鐘就要發射了 I got 10 minutes to launch.
如果你對火箭構成威脅 If you pose a threat to that rocket,
你現在就告訴我並不要對我撒謊 you tell me now and do not lie to me.
上次我說的是實話 I told the truth last time.
長官，這個人從未來來到這裡保護我 Sir，this man came here from the future to protect me,
這樣我就可以在火箭頂部 so I can attach a shield
安裝一個護罩來拯救世界 to the top of that rocket and save the world.
我需要您的幫助來完成這件事 I need your help to do that.
把他們關進監獄 Take them to the brig.
這沒用啊，格里夫 You're slipping，Griff.
長官，請允許我讓您看一看 Sir，if I may.
下士 Corporal.
不再需要你的人了 You men are no longer needed.
我親自押送這些犯人 I'll take the prisoners.
長官，你是不是...解散 Sir，are you...Dismissed.
跟我來 Follow me.
你展示了未來的事 你給他看了什麼？ You did the future thing. What did you show him?
只有他需要看到的部分 Only what he needed to see.
我現在得走了 I have to go now.
什麼? 不，不，不 拜託 What? No，no，no. Come on.
你不再需要我了 You don't need me anymore.
好了，格里夫，別開始對我油腔滑調 All right，Griff，don't start flipping on me.
當鮑里斯的胳膊被打斷後 When Boris' arm is taken,
過去的一切就會回歸原樣 K也會活下來 the past will be as it was. K will survive.
他不會知道你來過這裡 He will not know you were ever here.
好的 手臂斷了，知道了 就像重置？ All right. Arm gone，got it. Like a reset?
當那種情況發生時，回家 離開 When that happens，go home. Leave.
嘿，滑頭，你來嗎？ Hey slick，you coming?
是的，好的！ Yeah，all right!
謝謝你，夥計 嘿，我還能再見到你嗎？ Thanks，man. Hey，will I ever see you again?
一切皆有可能 Anything's possible.
噢，格里夫 Oh，Griff.
我永遠不能忍受看這一部分 I can never bear to watch this part.
阿姆斯特朗和奧爾德林擬定 Armstrong and Aldrin are scheduled
於東部夏令時的週一清晨 to set foot on the moon
踏上月球 on early Monday morning，Eastern Daylight Time.
格里芬在哪裡？ Where's Griffin?
做他自己的事了 Doing his own thing.
先生們 Gentlemen.
這部電梯能載你們到頂端 This elevator will take you to the top.
要將天網發射到大氣層外 To get the Arc Net outside the atmosphere
你得把它綁在航天艙頭部的分離火箭上! you need to strap it to the escape rocket above the capsule!
你不會想在火箭升空的時候靠近它的！ You do not want to be anywhere near this rocket when it takes off!
還有問題嗎? Questions?
沒了 謝謝你，上校 No. Thank you for this，colonel.
你們的工作很偉大 Some job you got there.
嘿，非常感謝，兄弟 Hey，thanks a lot，bro.
格里夫剛才給你看了些什麼? What did Griff show you back there?
他讓我知道了你們有多重要 He show me how important you are.
你和你搭檔 You and your partner.
嘿，聽著，如果一切都如我們所願 Hey look，if everything goes right the way we hope it does
我最終會很快離開這裡 I'm gonna end up getting out of here pretty quick
這樣我就沒機會給你正式說再見了 so I'm not gonna have a chance to say a proper goodbye.
如果事情出了問題，也不會有機會 If things go wrong，not gonna have a chance to，either.
所以我猜是贏是輸，就是這樣 So I guess win or lose，this is it.
我知道我為什麼招募你了 I see why I recruited you.
你是個好人 You're a good man.
好人 Good man.
夥計，你到底怎麼了？ Man，what the hell happened to you?
我告訴過你，這事還沒發生 I told you，it still hasn't happened yet.
我來對付這個! I'll take this one!
頑皮的小子 Naughty.
夥計，如果你有時間就去做個美甲 Man，get a pedicure if you get a second.
以及飛翔 And liftoff.
剛剛過了倒計時兩分鐘大關 Just passed the two-minute mark in the countdown,
當我們監控我們的狀態板時，一切仍在進行 and all is still go as we monitor our status board.
太空飛行員報告說，這感覺很好 電源傳輸已完成 Astronauts report it feels good. Power transfer is complete.
尼爾·阿姆斯特朗剛剛報告說倒計時很順利 Neil Armstrong just reported back it's been a smooth countdown.
鮑里斯，你能幫我一把嗎？ Boris，can you give me a hand?
你聽到我叫你了嗎？ You hear me calling you?
畜生鮑里斯! Boris the Animal!
那只是鮑里斯! It's just Boris!
你會輸的 You're gonna lose.
我可不這樣認為 Let's agree to disagree.
畜生鮑里斯! Boris the Animal!
右 Right.
左 Left.
你輸定了 You're gonna lose.
我可不這樣認為 Let's agree to disagree.
畜生鮑里斯! Boris the Animal!
右 Right.
左 左 Left. Left.
右 Right.
這不可能 That's not possible.
我可不這樣認為 Let's agree to disagree.
這不可能! That's not possible!
K! K!
我贏了! 我比未來的自己更強! I win! I'm better than me!
不愧是我的搭檔 That's my partner.
如果我們通知他們，他們就會取消發射 If we call this in，they'll scrub the launch.
我什麼都沒看到 I didn't see anything.
你的搭檔呢？他回家了 Where's your partner? He went home.
這是怎麼回事？你可難倒我了 How does that work? You got me.
快來! Come on!
臥倒! Get down!
搞定 Bingo.
夥計，這可真是高科技 Man，that is some next-level stuff.
如果你還想看到更多 You ever want to see more,
我知道有個機密組織 I know a top-secret organization
可以招募像你這樣的人才 that could use a man like you.
但願我能 I wish I could.
謝謝 Thank you.
回頭見，K I'll see you around，K.
小心! Look out!
來吧! Go ahead.
逮捕我 Arrest me.
這次不會了 Not this time.
"注定的死亡總會在注定的時空中發生" "Where there's death，there will always be death."
爸爸! 爸爸! Daddy! Daddy!
嘿，我叫K，你叫什麼名字？ Hey，my name's K. What's your name?
詹姆斯 James.
詹姆斯? 那是個好名字 James? That's a nice name.
我爸爸在哪裡？ Where's my dad?
你手裡拿的是什麼？那是什麼？ What have you got there? What is that?
我爸爸給我的 My dad gave it to me.
我們在給火箭倒計時 We timed the launch.
我爸爸在哪裡？ Where is my daddy?
他...He....
他去做了一件非常特別的事 He went to go do something very special.
而他想讓我留在這裡照顧他最好的朋友 And he wanted me to stay here and take care of his best pal.
他什麼時候回來？ When is he gonna be back?
他...He....
詹姆斯...James...
如果你看這裡 If you look right here,
我會告訴你你唯一需要知道的事情 I will tell you the only thing you ever need to know.
你爸爸是個英雄 Your daddy is a hero.
我爸爸是個英雄? My daddy is a hero?
想和我一起散散步嗎？好的 Want to take a walk with me? Yes.
詹姆斯? James?
這個由夢築成的鋼筋混凝土的城市裡 Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
沒有什麼是你做不到的 There's nothing you can't do
因為你現在身處紐約 Now you're in New York
街道會讓你感覺煥然一新 These streets will make you feel brand new
燈光將啟迪你 The lights will inspire you
讓我們去紐約，紐約，紐約... Lets here it for New York，New York，New York...
你遲到了 You're late.
抱歉 搞錯時間了 Sorry. Lost track of time.
你怎麼知道那首歌的？ How do you know that song?
喝你的咖啡吧! 我們還有活要幹呢! Drink your coffee. We got work to do.
你知道什麼而且不知道什麼？ What do you know and what do you don't?
我怎麼知道我不知道的事呢？ How do I know what I don't know?
這是一個非常好的問題 我們昨晚去吳家了嗎？ That's a really good question. Did we go to Wu's last night?
是的 Yeah.
伯格羅蒂特人呢? Boglodites?
絕跡40年了 Extinct for 40 years.
很好 我們昨晚通電話了嗎？ Perfect. Did we talk on the phone last night?
你掛了我電話 You hung up on me.
是的，我掛的 Yeah，I did.
但這是因為所有這些宇宙都不知道的祕密 But that was because of all those secrets the universe doesn't know about.
但我已經意識到昨晚已經是很久很久以前的事了 But I've realized that last night was a long long time ago.
而且，真的，我只想說聲謝謝 And，really，I just want to say thank you.
這是我的榮幸 It's been my privilege.
你知道，現在有很高的可能性 You know，there's a really high possibility now
我可能知道一些你不知道的事 that I might know some things you don't know.
我懷疑 I doubt it.
我打賭我知道你和O之間發生了什麼 I bet I know what went down with you and O.
她是個很好的女士，但你知道規矩的 She's a fine lady，but you know the rules.
特工之間不能調情 There's no fraternizing amongst agents.
不過你還是和她調過一兩次情 I think y'all might have fraternized a time or two.
這是我在人類歷史上最喜歡的新時刻 This is my new favorite moment in human history.
除非在這個時空裡K忘了給小費 Unless this is the one where K forgot to leave a tip.
差點忘了 Almost forgot.
好險 That was a close one.